Friday, November 18, 2011

Of lies

Dear Reader
I have a revelation. It is possible that you might never visit my blog again once you come to know about it. Many of you who know me personally might raise eyebrows as well. But I got to say what I got to say.

All this while I have been lying to you, and more importantly, to myself. Here is the truth - I don't enjoy writing. No, I do not. In fact, I fake my writings. Most of the times, I am not exactly in the moment and the world I am writing about. As I start penning down my thoughts, my mind wanders, and very often  I lose the sensation before I can complete. Rest of the words, therefore, are mere fillers.

Often, I "innovate" to make my poetry rhyming. I try to find "nicer" synonyms at times as well. There is nothing wrong in using appropriate words, but like many other writers(I am sure many writers do that), I try to fit in the lesser used words in my writings.

I am a person who likes to see your comments and Likes. I may argue that your feedback motivates me to write further and write better; it definitely  does. Call me a narcissist, and I am one without doubt. It is not that I always write for your comments. In fact, most of the times I am propelled by an instinct, an urge to write. But as I mentioned earlier, that urge is very difficult to sustain.

I wish I could be completely truthful  with you and my writings. And I  beseech you for your blessings that my want be converted into genuine feelings, of this world or utopian but not fake, so that you appreciate my writings for what they actually are. More than that, bless me so that I can appreciate them too.

Yours truly

1 comment:

Divenita said...

Hmm... One who calls him self a narcissist isn't really one. Liked the truth portrayed and somewhere we all end up being one helluva actor disguised as an actor.