Tuesday, May 6, 2008

At the CroosRoads....

2004 Anand Shankar 2004A7PS027 , BITS-Pilani
2008 Anand Shankar B.E.(Hons.) Computer Science, BITS-Pilani

The change in designation speaks aloud for itself- You are no more a student. It is time to enter into a new world, full of varieties of complexities accompanied with opportunities. It is time to face the real world.

Who can be more ecstatic than your parents who always envisaged you march on the way to a safe,settled and successful life, the three parameters which neither they nor you decide. Yes, they are happier to see themselves fulfilling these social measures, to see all the hard work and sacrifices they did for you paying off. Everyone in the family praising you for your efforts to get to this level, "the flower has blossomed to spread its charm". But nobody saw your subconscious, sobbing silently in a corner. Nobody ever bothered about what it wanted, not even you! Dumped deep inside the hopes and expectations, your conscience stopped feeling your heartbeats; This is what I am destined to. The spasmodic attacks about what you really wanted failed to convince you.

As I prepare to embrace the real world, I find myself at the crossroads. What do I really want? Am I mature enough to believe in myself and answer this question? More importantly, will this make me happy ? I commemorate all the good and the bad times as I try to seek the truth. I remember the times when I was five. When anybody asked what I wanted to be, I would answer in a blink- A doctor, the motivation behind it, my grandfather was a doctor. I remember how much I wanted to be a mathematician at 13-14, when I won several mathematics Olympiads. My college life saw drastic changes in my thinking, I dreamt of becoming a singer, another Mohammad Rafi or David Gilmour, practicing the same song for hours.At other times, I would see myself as a politician or an administrator dying to change the system and a philosopher too !. But,did I ever see myself as an engineer?

Some people are good at doing things, others are good at getting things done, no matter what things. Some other set of people are soft spoken and mild at most of the times, while the remaining seek power and attention at all times. Some are born talents, others develop skills. Whoever it be, I believe that your subconscious is always hinting at what you are. It reflects in all your actions, the difficulty lies in identifying it.And when you start realizing it, few more confrontations arise. You keep yourself at your parents' position-Is it wrong to guide your child to the most safe and protective path or is it wrong to expect your child fulfill your own dreams? The other end asks-Who is to be rewarded for what I am today or has to be blamed for what I am today? Which of the two views is ethically acceptable? Is it appreciable to fulfill your obligations to your family by following their designed road or is it selfish to make one of your own,possibly opposite to theirs?

Questions are many, answers rare. The only thing that looks real to me is your dreams. Whether you achieve them or not is a reflection of your realization. And once you recognize them, perhaps you find the correct roads yourself. I sign off with the hope of realizing my dreams soon.